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What Is Karezza? ~ How Sex Without Orgasm Deeply Satisfies Us (Part 1)

Thu, 2017-02-09 17:54

by Christina Antonyan

Recently I spoke to a gentleman in his late 40’s who said “The practice of Karezza is my new found Sex God.” I had no idea what he was referring to.

It turns out he had what he called a ‘porn addiction.’ He was watching porn between 4-6 times a day almost everyday and ejaculating every time.

He was addicted to the dopamine reward rush.

He went on to say:

“It took me years to deeply feel and understand the confusions of my sexual biology and lack of information society had given me about sex.

After so many years I finally found a sexual method where I wasn’t chasing ejaculation.

As a man I believed sex was all about finishing with a grand release.

Ejaculation is necessary sometimes, and that is how we are wired to continue our human evolution as men. It’s a very primal and natural force.

But there is a far more powerful practice called Karezza. In fact when I first heard about the concept of Karezza, I thought it was some new age crap, until my wife was finally able to convince me to try it.

The Karezza method is like meditation, at times it can be very hard to explain the feeling of nothingness or in this case erotic euphoria.

You smile for no reason, because you are filled with joy, peace, contentment, love and abundance of energy – for someone who has never felt all of these emotions at once– it’s very hard to describe.

Once you have this type of sex, it’s hard to go to back to the thrill of chasing the mating mind of ejaculation.

The intimate euphoric feeling outweighs the chase.

But there are times when our primal forces take over and we just want to have sex, which is also fun. Feeling the difference between each style of sex is the best discovery I’ve ever made.

The best part about this practice is how intimate and deeply connected my wife and I have become.”

What Is Karezza?

Karezza gets its name from the Italian word for caress – a gentle, affectionate form of lovemaking in which orgasm is not the goal, and ideally does not occur in either partner while making love.

The best explanation I’ve found on the subject comes from J. William Lloyd written in 1931.

Many of us can argue that lovemaking without orgasm can be very unnatural.

Lloyd argues that it’s simply care and skill in the sexual realm, changing its form and direction of activity in such a wise way that the desired pleasure may be more fully realized and the undesired results avoided.

According to Lloyd Real Karezza requires preparatory mental exercises.

“It requires first the understanding and conviction that the spiritual, the tender side of the relation is much more important, much more productive of pleasure in fact, than the merely sexual, and that throughout the whole relation the sexual is to be held subordinate to this love side as its tool, its agent, its feeder.

Sex is indeed required to furnish all it has to the feast, but strictly under the leadership of love.

It requires, second, the understanding and profound conviction that in this kind of love-feast the orgasm is a marplot, a kill-joy, an awkward and clumsy accident, and the end of everything for the time, therefore most undesired.

It requires, third, an understanding of the psychological law that all emotions are to a considerable extent capable of being “sublimated,” that is expressed in a different direction and with reference to another object than that first intended.

We have all seen actors first arouse an audience to emotional intensity and then direct that emotion at pleasure to laughter or tears, to love or-hate, revenge or pity, lust or purity.

Taking full advantage of this law, the Karezza artist sublimates a portion of his sexual passion into the more refined, intellectual, poetic and heart-sweet expression of feeling, thus preventing it from ever reaching that pitch of local intensity which demands explosive discharge.

In other words the soul, taking over the blind sex- emotion, diffuses it and irradiates the whole being for a prolonged period with its joy-giving, exalting potency.

It is art, intellect, morality and estheticism in sexual enjoyment instead of crude, reckless appetite.

As you acquire the habit of giving your sexual electricity out in blessing to your partner from your sex-organs, hands, lips, skin, eyes and voice, you will acquire the power to satisfy yourself and her without an orgasm.

Soon you will not even think of self-control, because you will have no desire for the orgasm, nor will she.”

Lloyd also notes that during the practice of Karezza the sex-organs become quiet, satisfied, demagnetized, while the rest of the body of each partner glows with potency, bliss coupled with an after-feeling of health purity and wellbeing.

The sweet satisfaction of fullness, realization, and peace often last for days.

The Orgasm Hangover

Throughout the book, Lloyd describes the hangover that orgasm can produce. Here is one of his detailed descriptions:

“There has been a momentary joy, but too brief and epileptic to make much impression on consciousness, and now it is gone, leaving no memory.

The lights have gone out, the music has stopped. Even if no more, there is disillusionment, sudden indifference, a wish to sleep.

An intense rise in dopamine levels is succeeded by lows, setting up an addictive, ultimately unsatisfying, cycle. Those who practice Karezza, are less liable to excess, because they spared the waste of the orgasm.

In contrast, those who do not use Karezza are vastly more liable to excess, and this is usually from too frequent and intense orgasms.

The marvel of practicing Karezza is that as consciousness of internal strength and power develops, the physical sign disappears. The peace that follows is the peace of power.”

When Sex Satisfies

When sex feels sacred in the use it gives a divine
innocence to the moment, a satisfying sweetness of
recollection in the memory.

Sex is only satisfying where it is absolutely free, in a
liberty made new and genuine by glad, mutual
consent at every moment of its being.

Sex only satisfies when on both sides there are
kindness, innocence, consideration – a love that is
goodness in expression, that gives and blesses.

Sex only satisfies the finer natures when it unites
souls, not merely copulates bodies for a thrill.

Sex having two offices – to unite souls and propagate
bodies – there are for these offices two unions:
Karezza-union for the deeper love, orgasmal-union for
physical begetting.

Do not make the mistake of using
the latter for the former.

In the next article I will discuss the Karezza Method and the role of each partner.

Original article: What Is Karezza? ~ How Sex Without Orgasm Deeply Satisfies Us (Part 1) Main Topic:
Categories: Healthy sexuality

How To Practice Karezza – (Part 2)

Thu, 2017-02-09 17:53

By Christina Antonyan

In the previous article I discussed “What is Karezza? In today’s article I will share the gentleman’s wisdom on how to practice Karezza as well as some takeaways from Lloyds book (Download the free PDF version here).

In Lloyds book the description of the practice is quite vague. This is because it’s not about technique or a goal driven encounter, instead it’s a relaxation and connection process of ‘not doing.’

It’s very similar to relaxing into a deep meditative state. It’s more of an experience than a practice.

The gentleman who introduced me to the Karezza method shared his insights below on how to properly practice Karezza. Here is his wisdom:


To be able to fully understand the Karezza method the couple must first start with mental and spiritual values.

They must agree that they do not wish to have an orgasm and that there is a greater spiritual and physical unity of emotional bliss to be obtained without it.


 Think more about your love than your passion. Translate your sex passion as much as possible into heart-passion.

Be sensitively alive to the charm of your lover’s tones, touch and smells.

The emphasis is put on love, adoration and affection, which allows the couple to stay away from the edge of orgasm.

Why Foreplay Doesn’t Work For Karezza

We commonly refer to foreplay as building each other’s anticipation with orgasm being the goal.

The pleasures of Karezza, however, do not rely on the rewards that come from approaching one’s own orgasm or inducing it in a lover.

Instead the pleasures come from rewarding feelings of mutual adoration and generous touch. Instead of foreplay, what do we do when we get into bed?

First bond with each other by laying in a comfortable position and gently caressing, or holding one another as you kiss.

After some time slow penetration begins. Developing some structure helps, because ingrained habits are not easily changed.

Time and Space

Choose a time when both of you can be alone, unhurried and free from interruptions. Be sure the room is warm, the surroundings are pleasant and esthetic.

When You Feel You Are Losing Control

 If you sense yourself or your partner slipping into performance mode while making love, pull back into relaxation with deeper and longer breaths from your abdomen.

Deep abdominal breathing reverses the increased muscular tension and the urge to restrict breathing that coincide with the buildup to orgasm.

Slow Sex – How Slow is Slow?

It’s best to begin in a position that doesn’t allow for much movement, because it’s easy to slip into familiar sex. The point of Karezza is moving very slowly and at times falling into complete stillness.

This is where a lot of magical and gratifying experiences can occur. As a result the lovemaking goes in waves, much like breathing. Erections also come and go.

Communicate the wordless sounds of pleasure and touch whenever you feel it.

There are times when you will fall asleep while your penis is still inside her. Waking up in the morning is so enjoyable because you never “finished.”

The feeling of joy, playfulness and staying connected lasts all day.

How Karezza Relieves Sexual Tension

Because the practice of Karezza emphasizes non-goal-oriented sex, it activates the body’s relaxation response.

In contrast, for a man ejaculatory sex is a function of the fight-or-flight (sympathetic nervous system) response, particularly when his survival is at stake.

Biologically driven sex is exactly that – you are in performance mode, doing what needs to be done to survive through passing on your genes. It also happens to feel very good.

This powerful drive produces orgasms, but not necessarily the profound feelings of safety or desire to remain close to your partner.

The body “reads” bonding behaviors (like Karezza) as signals for feeling safe and getting closer.

How Long Does It Take To Feel The Benefits?

Karezza can be a bit like watching paint dry at first. It does not produce rapid, obvious results (like a new foreplay technique might).

The gentleman also suggested that it’s best to try Karezza for at least three weeks to compare the benefits of it with regular sex.

The effects of Karezza are cumulative.

The changes are so natural that it’s easy to miss the link between the practice of Karezza and the changes you will experience.

For example: you might feel a growing sense of joy and optimism, connectedness with others and your surroundings and being in the state of ‘flow.’

Best Positions

When you are starting out, it’s not important for a man to penetrate deep into the woman’s vagina.

What’s important is to learn how to be fully relaxed, open, and still. You’ve got to get your body use to being inside her without wanting to ejaculate and thrust hard.

The gentleman suggested avoiding the missionary position, because for most men this triggers the ejaculation/mating sex urge.

Woman on top is perfectly fine, but her movements have to be extremely slow. Side to side works well too. Any position is okay as long as you can relax, stay comfortable and avoid any kind of tension.

[Visit confidentlovers.com for position images]

Karezza is a return to equilibrium.

For some people that may mean taking a nap throughout the day, for others, it will mean an increased libido.

Either way, Karezza is not an attempt to recreate the intensity of honeymoon neurochemistry.

The energy it produces is not “edgy,” but rather “lighthearted.”

Original article - How To Practice Karezza – (Part 2)

Categories: Healthy sexuality